It's been a while since I had a regular paycheck. Due to personal reasons and pandemic I have been unemployed, by choice at first. I quit in November 2019 to take care of my mother who was in failing health. She was my rock and I would do anything for her. She passed away February 21, 2020 after a 30 -year bout with a lung disease and no she never smoked. I know her first breath with Jesus was glorious!

Two weeks after her funeral the pandemic hit and jobs were not to be found. My former company was supposed to be waiting for me to come back but unfortunately it became a victim of COVID. I miss the daily interaction with people in the office. I miss negotiating contracts and I miss passing out bonuses for jobs well done. I actually even miss the drive sometimes. I really miss my purpose - or so I thought.

I've always wanted to write professionally and started taking projects but was still unfulfilled. I began my novel and about a fourth of the way through hit a block that I couldn't break for some reason. The world situation didn't help matters. We were in a world-wide pandemic. People should be coming together at a time like this not fighting even more. I was so disappointed in people and I thought if I had a job, it would get better. 

I'm not being political so just calm down drama llamas! I don't care who you voted for and I don't care why. I ended up internalizing a lot and the one person I always confided in and knew was in a constant state of prayer for me was gone. I struggled to find my purpose with everything that could fill my time.I volunteered, sewed, read (287 books last year), cleaned, cooked, became general contractor for our garage addition to our house, got fed up with media - both mainstream and social. I prayed, oh did I pray, all while trying to find my purpose.

My last title was COO and the two before that were VP. Regardless of what I put in my cover letter, I am immediately dismissed as "over qualified" I am a workaholic by nature and get so engrossed in my job that it overshadows everything else. My husband has helped me find balance and I realize I don't want to be a workaholic anymore.

I've never gone this long without a job and I even told a close friend that I had lost my purpose. I was stuck in my journey

Or so I thought...

Through my daily devotion, I realized my career is not my purpose. I have been fortunate that my career has allowed me to fulfill my purpose but it isn't my true purpose. My purpose is to shine His light. It doesn't matter what my career happens to be, it only matters that when I am doing  whatever it is that He is evident in my life. 

I know it sounds simple but sometimes we are just stupid humans who make things entirely too hard and we have to be reminded of the simple things. I am still looking for the job and I have faith He wills end me what I need when I need it. But I stand firm in the fact that I never really lost my purpose, I just forgot it for a little while.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

"Your talk talks and your walk talks, but your walk talks louder then your talk talks."